Couples Counselling can support you in making changes together. Change requires more than communication, it is the developmental growth in each partner that needs to be supported and nurtured as well as the growth of the ‘couple’ which needs empathy.
If you feel stuck and have stopped having fun, showing affection and have lost the spark it may be the right time to invest in getting your ‘couple back’. One of the most important keys in your relationship is Security. In order for you to repair what has gone wrong, we will explore firstly how safe each of you feels in the relationship. How much you can trust in the other to be there and do what they say they will do for example.
Trust is extremely important in relationships and when this is broken then it can feel impossible to trust again. When trust is broken we stop opening up and we stop challenging ourselves in some ways. Trust is being able to be vulnerable, and vulnerability is a key to better relationships.
“The key question in love, is not, ‘How many orgasms can I have with you?’ It is, ‘A.R.E. you there for me?’ where A.R.E. stands for ‘emotionally Accessible, Responsive and Engaged.’ Dr. Sue Johnson
If there is something wrong in your couple you are more than likely feeling angry toward him/her and this anger is stopping you from connecting with the heartfelt, softer feelings that were there when you first met.
Each relationship is its own and unique universe and as such needs to have its own boundaries and protection from outside influences and the world.
Getting help before it’s too late and you decide to split is very beneficial to a marriage or partnership, don’t wait too long because perhaps you can save what is yours and not give up on it!
Too many people give up on each other for reasons that don’t really make sense to them but the books say it, the media says it and all the pressure to be a hero, to be a new woman cause many people to become strong versions of themselves without their softer heartfelt feelings, without their authentic loving heart that understands the other and knows how to give and receive.
Of course, there are times when the relationship is unhealthy and needs to end for the best for both partners. This is difficult too.
“When there is mis-attunement in the couple then we need to re-tune the heart of the relationship”