Abuse
“The disturbing impact of emotional narcissistic abuse is how it gets you to immediately doubt your experiences, feelings and what you know to be true.”
Emotional abuse is manipulative and shaming Narcissistic abuse is frightening; it intimidates, insults and makes you feel inferior. The victim of narcissistic bullying believes that the problems in their relationships are their entire fault. If you grew up with a parent who treated you this way, you wonder what you did wrong because you feel wrong. If you are in a relationship like this, you lose your identity and begin believing you cannot do anything about this.
Sexual abuse is an act of violence that includes assault, rape and incest, which are specific types of PTSD due to this type of assault and domestic abuse. As the victim, you believe the assault was your fault because the abuser transferred the responsibility to you. Domestic abuse is coercive control where harassment, stalking and financial and economic abuse happen.
Some of the symptoms of abuse are:
- Depression, Anxiety and Panic
- Sexual and relationship difficulties
- Eating disorders, body hatred and somatic difficulties
- Self-esteem, uncertain identity, chronic shame and guilt
- Personality issues because early trauma changes the chemistry of your brain
- PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder)
- C-PTSD (Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder)
- Irritable bowel syndrome – turning against your body
- Insomnia
- Family issues
- Distrust – Trust
- Addictions, self-harm, suicidality
- Increased vulnerability to more abuse
- Insecurity in yourself
- Living in fear
- Feeling confusion a lot of the time
- Relational difficulties
- Feeling ashamed, guilty and embarrassed
- Believing it was your fault.
As a result of the abuse you have suffered, making connections with others and yourself is highly compromised.
The healing process starts with safety and stability that we build together through awareness of your head, heart and gut.
Safety, stability, and body awareness
These are an essential part of beginning to heal. It can be a gentle process that starts with a therapeutic relationship.
• Safety and stability in your body, your relationships and the rest of your life
• Regulating your emotions
• Strengthening the ability to manage unwanted experiences.
Once we have been working together for a while, and, more importantly, when you are ready, then:
Remembering and Mourning
• That is the time to begin making sense of what happened, remembering and grieving this.
• Working through the feelings of traumatic and abusive experiences and their negative impact on your life
• Grieving the experiences you did not get to have but that all children deserve
Contacting and working with your Inner Child is integral to this stage. It’s not what happens to you, as Dr Gabor Mate reminds us, but what happens inside you as a result of what happens to you and processing the loss and the grief begins to help move you to find resolution, healing and peace
Reconnection with life
• Relearning to live your life, to do you!
• Reconnecting with people, meaningful activities and the goodness of life