It is an integral part of psychotherapy to learn about energy and personal space, or at least that is my thought, especially if we have had a lifetime of self-abandonment (as explained in an earlier article on ‘one of the symptoms of C-ptsd is self-abandonment’). Your active participation is crucial in this process.

As a Movement Psychotherapist, I know that talking about difficulties and stuck places is not always sufficient for change; we often need to move our bodies, energies, and muscle vibrations and allow new movements, words, and feelings to emerge.

We are our bodies, not just brains atop a body that does as we command. Instead, we are a system of body, brain, heart, nervous system, gut, and enteric nervous system, all of which make a system called us (name). Moreover, we are all different.

When we have experienced abandonment and subsequently abandoned ourselves, reaching out to others and the world can be challenging and feel unsafe.

In practice, difference is celebrated and welcomed; attention to movement is also important. Sometimes, this leads us to a session where rolling on the floor is what we do. Sometimes, the movement does not want to come, and this is all okay; our bodies talk, and the process is a deeper one on some level because there are experiences of ‘new moments’ that make sense; it does not have to take years and years of analysis.

However, when there is trauma and developmental stuckness, then yes, it can take years to unravel, emerge, and heal, and this is all part of your process. The following exercise is not a substitute for working with a therapist because it is vital to seek professional help; instead, it is a fun and solid exploration you can do in the comfort of your home. Self-care practices are essential to your health and well-being. The invitation is to do it standing, perhaps with some gentle music.

You can do it on the floor, seated, or sitting. Honouring your preferred method and asking your body how it wants to move is essential.

Body boundary exercise:

Take 10mins:

• Get centred through your breathing and settled body
• Place your hands gently over your skull, then trace them softly over your face, massaging your temples gently and pulling out from the middle of your forehead head to the temples.
• Pull down from your ears to your shoulders and gently massage the heaviness and sore spots.

Notice if you are placing your hands consciously with a relationship that says ‘I care for you’ or if you are doing this without thinking.

• Now, with more awareness of gentleness to self-gently stroke down your belly, legs, hips and back
• Rub down your legs and connect with the big job they do every day and that they are separate from the environment.
• Now, move your whole body gently, notice if you can take up space, and reach out if this is difficult.
• Notice where in your body you feel more vulnerable (perhaps, for example, your left side feels exposed and open)
• Just start to notice and let your hands guide you to give containment/presence to the vulnerable parts of your body.
Lastly,
• Begin reaching out and stretching like a lazy cat on a hot summer day, extending into the space around you; enjoy this harmonic stretching, conscious of every part of your body, participating from your head to your fingers, to your belly, leg and toes.

Reaching out is one of the five basic neurological actions related to the developmental stages we move through as babies, and we need a foundation of safety and stability to reach, to be able to feel we can relax and that we will be supported. From this feeling of support in the earth of our bodies and the earth/gravity, we then push into the earth to move, crawl, and push with our hands and feet. In pushing, we feel where we begin and end; often, in sessions, we might push the wall or against one another as a way to begin to notice and explore boundaries aswell as learn to say NO.

Reaching out is our curiosity to explore and connect with the world and others; we reach out to express our tenderness, for example, to another or to get our needs met. However, if, for example, you feel you did not develop healthy independence because you were not supported as you were growing through this stage and your boundaries were not respected, then you possibly have become very rigid in your boundaries to be safe or have just allowed others to overstep your personal space; over giving which ultimately leads to burn out and fatigue and not wanting to connect with the world.

If you are ready to reach out for help, I have availabilities for Counselling and Psychotherapy.